Full-Time Training - Testimonies

Keep Committing All to Him, Michelle Minto

One of the most common frustrations in my own experience as a Christian involves dealing with the anxieties of life, whether the issues are complicated or small. Throughout my teenage years and continuing into my twenties, I would recall the verse in 1 Peter 5:7 regarding casting your anxieties on the Lord. This verse helped me many times, though I often found that after bringing my concern to the Lord, the concern would still resurface very soon after I prayed to the Lord regarding it. I couldn't understand why I had to keep praying to the Lord regarding certain everyday worries, some of them seemingly small.

I have been in the FTTA (Full-Time Training in Anaheim) for almost two years. Though the environment in the FTTA is very lively, busy, and enjoyable, I found I was still prone to anxiety regarding various matters, even if it was something as small as trying to coordinate a ride for one of the young junior high girls to come to a meeting. I often felt like I was striving in my natural strength to juggle all kinds of complicated situations. Thank the Lord for His Word, which always provides me with timely help.

Recently I was struck by a verse that particularly helped me in the matter of worrying. 1 Peter 2:23 speaks in the context of Jesus' sufferings. It says, “Who being reviled did not revile in return; suffering, He did not threaten but kept committing all to Him who judges righteously.” Though this verse focuses on persecution, insults, and sufferings, I've realized that much of the human life can be a suffering. Yet, in verse 2:21 I saw that Christ is our model, so that we may follow in His steps. According to Witness Lee's footnote on this verse, we do not follow Him by trying to imitate Him, but by enjoying Him, even in our sufferings. I've realized that one way to begin enjoying Christ is for me to keep committing all of my concerns to God. To me, the words kept committing all in verse 23 were so crucial in helping me understand the question I had in the past, when I wondered why an anxiety would return even minutes after I gave it to the Lord. This verse showed me that casting my anxieties on the Lord is a continual process, one that involves constant dependence on Him.

In the past, I often belittled certain small concerns, believing that they were too insignificant to bring to the Lord. Now I'm realizing that the Lord wants to be in all of our matters. Many times now I have been in certain situations that seemed very messy and complicated. All I could do was pray to the Lord, sometimes telling Him the concern several times in a day. Everything became very balanced. In the past, my tendency in tough situations was to overcompensate for the situation according to my own concept and apart from the Lord, with very little prayer, if any. Now I am slowly learning to do what is necessary, not too much or too little, with more continual prayer rather than one “once-for-all” prayer. I believe this experience must be common to many Christians, but I believe that my time spent in the FTTA has helped me to begin learning this lesson sooner than I would have if I had not chosen to come to the FTTA. I am very thankful to God for the two years I have spent here.

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